Oh Dear, Look what's happened now
by Dogedoos
Summary: Snape plays a Trivia game, he also looses his clothes, and who should turn up to 'help' him? Dumbledore and Trelawney of course! And now he has to cope with a drunk student!
1. Flashing is Forbidden!

_AN: Happy Birthday Deepshadows2! Artimis and Alexis belong to her and Eckostalker. Erica and Vicky belong to Mourn-today and Captainrose. I'm gonna post the second chapter when I've typed it up._

_Disclaimer: And just for passing readers, I don't own Snape or Dumbledore, the area the story takes part in, and I haven't received any money. _

* * *

Severus Snape paused in his writing. Gritting his teeth he dared to look up from his marking, and confirm his worst fear.

'Hiya!'

'Goodbye,' he growled in reply, as he pushed himself away from his desk and walked around it to face the white haired Gryffindor before him. Snape threw his quill on a small stack of books at his side and pointed towards the door.

'Out…I want you out now.'

'What? All of us?'

Snape felt his stomach drop as he followed his finger and finally registered the other three witches in the Potions Room. His jaw worked soundlessly as his mind raced through what things they might possibly have in store for him today.

Last week, he had been stranded in here with Lupin and the four girls. Artimis, an ebony haired witch, Alexis a white hared animagus and their two best friends (who each had an obsession for American Football), Erica and Vicky.

It had resulted in a most unpleasant game of truth or dare, and a hair-braided Potions Master.

'Yes, all of you. I want you out _now._' Repeated Snape in a dangerously low voice.

'Yeah…'fraid we can't do that.'

'See, we're locked in again.'

'Sir,' said each of the girls in turn.

'You've got to be kidding me,' muttered Snape to any deity who may have bee listening.

'So…what d'ya wanna play this week?' Alexis shuffled closer to her Professor, who, in turn, shuffled further away.

'A brilliant game called detention.'

'Hey!' Alexis swatted at Snape's arm, earning herself a wrinkled nose, narrowed eyes and bared teeth.

'I do not require physical contact, thank you Miss Whyte, and even if I did, you would be the last person I'd ask.'

'Hey! Artimis! You're in with a chance Hun!'

Both Snape and Artimis blushed visibly.

'Ok, I have an idea,' said Vicky stepping forwards. 'Let's just play a simple Trivia Game.'

Snape snickered. 'Do you really thing that that is a game Miss Whyte can play? She still has enough trouble remembering what she learned in her first-year potions classes.'

'Only because you droned on and on and on and on and-'

'Shut up Miss Whyte, unless you actually _want _to be a charred pile of ash on the ground…in which case, your friends could clean up.' Snape added in an after thought.

'OK People!' Yelled Vicky before Alexis came up with an offensive comeback. 'Let's sit down…I think we all know from past experience how long it'll take before we can get out again…'

The three girls and the Potions Master mumbled in agreement as they sat on a combination of chairs and desks. Before he joined them, Severus picked a decent sized book up from his desk, time was bound to come to a stand-still if he had to play these girls games…things just never seemed to go well for him in their company.

'Come on! Hurry up! We wanna play!' Erica beckoned Snape over with and enthusiastic wave. The dark haired man grudgingly complied, taking his place on one of the front row desks, sitting cross legged.

'Now, Professor? Do you wanna ask a question first?' Artimis asked, trying to infuse some sense of fun into the brooding man.

Snape sighed, looking at each of the girls infront of him, instantly knowing who he was going to ask. Opening the book in his hands and beginning to read, he kept his face blank as he asked, 'Miss Whyte, name the seeker of the Montrose Magpies who died in 1942.'

Silence, just as he'd thought. Severus resisted the urge to look up into their shocked faces and continued to read _Dangerous Dragons Of Denmark_.

'You, you know about Quidditch?' Came a quiet voice nearly 5 minutes later.

'Yes of course I do Miss Callabella, I'm not completely devoid of sporting interests as most people would like to believe. Answer the question Miss Whyte.'

Alexis, for one of the rare times in her life, was speechless. She looked towards her friends who just shrugged, they didn't trace Quidditch back _that _far.

The white haired witch cringed slightly as she felt a magical tingle around her left foot, signaling that her shoe had disappeared. Quickly rearranging her robes, she hoped that Snape hadn't noticed…Today was her lucky day.

'I take it that you don't know the answer Miss Whyte,' droned Snape after not receiving an answer. 'You should have said Eunice Murray…continue with your game.' He waved a hand lazily to the girls who suddenly grinned with enthusiasm.

'Professor, this one's back to you! What did Artimis give Professor Dumbledore for Christmas this year?'

Severus scowled as his reading was disrupted. Again, he kept his eyes firmly focused on the page. 'How should I know?'

'If you don't know, you can guess Professor, come on, a guess couldn't hurt.'

_OH YOU LIE! _Laughed Artimis through their mind link. _You sure we should do this? I mean we could get into big trouble._

_Yeah, but I'm sure Dumbledore'd see the funny side in it!_

'Wand polish.' Stated Snape in a bored tone.

'Nope, fluffy socks! Sorry Sir, but that's the wrong answer.'

Severus blocked out the girls' voice, opting for selective hearing, and narrowed his eyes as the girls began to giggle.

Why the giggling? What was so damn funny? Severus shook his head as he felt a slight tingling sensation around his left foot.

'Artimis, you're next!' Erica nudged Artimis playfully.

'OK Sir, what's Hermione Granger's Patronus?'

Snape frowned as he registered the fact that he had been asked a question twice in a row. 'A rabbit?' he asked snidely, flipping a page slowly and continuing to read about an incident two years ago in which a dragon chose her nesting area on top of Buckingham Palace.

'Wrong, it's an otter…Sir you really have to pay closer attention to you students.'

Severus shifted slightly as he felt that strange tingling feeling around his other foot. 'I pay adequate attention to my students, thank you Miss Barton.'

The young witch giggled at his address, and asked, 'Sir, do you know which one of us _likes _you?' A high squeak sounded and Erica was pushed off her desk by Artimis.

Snape raised an eyebrow. 'I have an idea.'

'Sir, we need a name…' prompted Vicky. The four girls waited in silence. Erica climbed back into her place.

'Artimis.'

Severus waited for the tingling sensation but it never came.

Vicky was next, 'Professor, do you know who likes Artimis?'

'No,' he replied, growing thoroughly bored with the bombardment of questions.

'Malfoy,' was the answer supplied to him.

And there was the tingling sensation again! This time it traveled away from his feet, up his legs, past his crotch and up around his waist. Still maintaining his stubborn belief that if he looked bored and didn't do anything to encourage the hyper behaviour he knew these girls were capable of he would be safe, Severus continued to read his book.

The four girls surrounding him giggled in a more obvious fashion.

'_Probably laughing at my expense', _thought Severus. How right he was.

The questions continued for a further three turns, getting two wrong didn't help Severus, as every time he did, the girls began laughing. He had also noticed that Artimis was becoming increasingly red in the face (when he'd snuck a glance) and he was becoming increasingly cold. Damn the school for its ancient heating systems.

'Sir, which of Ron Weasley's brother's is getting married?'

Severus grumbled something which sounded like, 'Bloody hell, not more of them,' He looked up at the girls, Charlie?'

The girls laughed out aloud this time, and Alexis choked out, 'No, it's Bill!' Before falling in line with her friends.

Severus finally lowered his book, placing it in his lap and settling his unimpressed glare on the girls before. There was the tingling sensation rising up his chest and back, wrapping around his torso and rendering him colder than before. Having had enough, Severus looked down, and shrieked in shock and unwelcome surprise.

He jumped up from the desk and screamed in anger. His shoes, outer robes, frock coat, pants and now his white shirt had disappeared, leaving only his grey underwear visible to four people he did not want to see them.

'Avert your eyes!' He screamed in anger, as he waved his book in the air. The four girls were now crying with laughter and Alexis and Vicky were now rolling on the floor.

'50 points from each of you! Merlin's beard! Avert your eyes I tell you!'

Now standing in the middle of his class, Severus realized just how much he was showing. He quickly scuttled over to his desk and lowered himself behind it, searching one of the drawers for his wand.

And then, just as his hand found the smooth wood, the supposedly locked door to his classroom opened, revealing the one person who would make his situation worse. Albus Dumbledore.

The old wizard looked from the hysterical girls on the floor, all in various stages of suffocation (from laughing), to the Potions Professor, standing stock still, a book in one hand and his wand in the other.

'Oh dear, looks like I've arrived at the wrong time,' he said calmly.

Severus trotted back around his desk, 'No Albus you haven't! I want these girls punished for what they've done to me!'

This was apparently the wrong answer, as he became subject to multiple stares from the other residents of the room. Severus looked down and hollered in terror as his underwear began to glow a golden colour. It began to fade.

'ARGGHHH!' Severus screamed. He quickly shoved _Dangerous Dragons Of Denmark_ down infront of his quickly disappearing underwear and edged over to the entrance of his office, which in turn, led to his dorms.

'You just wait! Wait until I return, then we'll see whose laughing!'

The Head Master and the four students watched in interest as the Potions Professor jammed his wand in his mouth and opened the door.

'You'll see!' He screamed one last time before disappearing from sight.

The four girls turned to face Dumbledore who had an amused expression on his face.

'What an interesting game…maybe next time you play, you'd be kind enough to invite some of the other staff!'

The girls merely nodded. 'Oh! And that reminds me, Professor Trelawney may be arriving down here soon to give Severus his weekly warning of death and destruction. Nothing to worry about, but it's best to know when she's about to appear.'

Dumbledore offered the girls a smile before turning to leave. 'Oh, and I don't want any of you to leave before Severus comes back out of that room.'

As if right on cue, a scream sounded from somewhere beyond the walls.

* * *

_Please R&R_


	2. Firewhisky, Witches and Mops

_Disclaimer: Mourn-Today owns Erica and Vicky, Deepshadows2 owns Artimis and Alexis. JK Rowling owns all other characters. _

* * *

'My dear, your lifeline clearly shows a slow and painful death.' 

'Of course it does' cut in Alexis as the Divination Professor stroked Artimis' hand in a rather disturbing manner.

'It is advisable that you avoid contact with any Unforgivables and under no circumstances attempt to drink any potions offered to you.'

Artimis raised an eyebrow at the bug-lady, 'Professor, I think I'd be avoiding those things anyway…really, it's just common sense.' Trelawney only glared in reply, 'That's what they all say dear, but I am always right in the end.'

Alexis snorted loudly. 'Who's _they_?'

Trelawney turned to face the Gryffindor who 'obviously didn't posses _the sight.'_

'_They?_ My dear _they_ would be all the sorry souls who didn't heed my warnings. I tell them time and time again that they'll be killed by a lethifold, or a rampaging Hippogriff, but they never listen.'

'Oh…right.'

It had been ten minutes since Dumbledore had left Trelawney with the four girls and it seemed that time had finally come to a standstill. That one moment of stillness before the universe stops expanding, and decides that today is the day it will implode.

Trelawney had done nothing since her arrival except from predicting four deaths and rather obviously hinting about a fifth. Presumably this was Snape's as it _was_ the reason she was down in the dungeons.

Amusing as it was, Snape had yet to return from his rooms fully clothed, however, what was attracting the most attention was the fact that since his initial scramble to reach them, shouts and screams had been issuing through the walls.

At first the girls were at a loss for what to do, Dumbledore had told them not to worry and had promptly offered each of them a sherbet lemon, and that seemed to have been that. But now the girls were growing anxious again, and Vicky had ceased her repetitive head banging (against the wall if anyone's curious) and had made her way over to Snape's office door.

'For the love of God! What the hell's wrong with you? Do you work at being perverted or is it just a natural talent you seem to have?'

Five head immediately snapped towards the door. Snape's voice was getting louder.

'Vicky! Get away from there! He'll kill you if he finds out you've been listening!' muttered Erica.

'Not exactly hard though is it?' replied Alexis arching an eyebrow.

'I'M GONNA GIVE YOU TILL TEN BEFORE I HEX YOU INTO NEXT WEEK! GET OUT!'

'Oh my, he does seem stressed today doesn't he?...I sense a high blood pressure will befall our Potion Master in the near future…'

Artimis rolled her eyes as she wrenched her hand out of the womans grasp and scuttled over to Vicky.

'Move! He's coming!' Artimis quickly pushed her friend out of harms way, only to become the victim herself.

Snape's office door was blasted open by a rather violent spell and out was thrown a woman. She sailed through the air gracelessly and landed with a sickening _crunch_ on top of the Slytherin who fell to the floor looking rather dazed.

'Bloody Hell, Artimis, you ok?' ventured Alexis, after a few seconds of shocked silence.

'Interesting…' was the only word to come out of Erica's mouth as she waltzed over to the scene and nudged the strangers body with the toe of her shoe.

Professor Trelawney and Vicky were now sat side by side. 'Professor, you got any sherry handy? I don't really believe what I'm seeing here.'

'Neither do I dear.' Replied the bug lady, pulling out a bottle from under her numerous shawls.

Meanwhile, back on the dungeon floor, Artimis was trying and failing to roll the woman off her. 'Help-can't breathe!' She gasped.

'Righto!' Vicky and Erica dashed over to the scene, leaving Alexis and Trelawney to become bottle buddies.

'Just-shove her off.'

After some maneuvering, the three girls managed to roll the witch onto the stone floor, and free Artimis who was now looking slightly disheveled.

'Thanks I-'

'Well well well, still here girls? I would have thought you'd find someway to avoid your detentions…I'm disappointed.'

Artimis, Erica and Vicky spun around, coming face to face with their irate potions master.

'Professor we-'

'Do not interrupt me Callabella! You will each scrub the floors, cauldrons and tables clean without the use of magic before you leave this classroom. Do you understand?'

The three girls nodded glumly and began to head towards the stockroom.

'As for you Miss Whyte, (Alexis looked up, her mouth hanging open and a sherry bottle in one hand at the sound of her name.' I want you to dispose of the witch currently lying on my classroom floor.'

'Sure thing Sev!'

A crash erupted from the store cupboards as buckets and mops were dropped and three heads reappeared at the door to the stockroom.

Trelawney, whom Severus had yet to acknowledge, brought a second bottle of Sherry close to her nose and sniffed, looking at Alexis uncertainly.

'Excuse me?' Snape crossed the room in six large strides, and lent over the short Gryffindor, his eyes narrowed.

'Oh Jesus, he's gonna kill her,' came a hushed voice from the stockroom.

'Severus, please be easy on the girl, it appears I've given her a bottle of firewhisky instead of sherry.' Snape's eyes snapped towards Trelawney.

'Oh Merlin, what do you want?'

The Divination Professor blinked in surprise, 'My Dear, the fates have visited me, an have predicted a most gruesome death-'

'Oh no! Not this again!' Snape looked livid. He turned to the three students who had now summoned water into their buckets and were scrubbing tables giggling.

'Why! Why did you let her in?' Snape sounded like he was actually begging for an answer. 'Of all the people on the planet, why her? Why?'

He stalked back across the room, purposefully stepping on the unconscious witch's back as he went.

'Dumbledore said she had a message for you Sir.' Erica smirked.

'A prediction of sorts, by the sound of it Professor,' added Artimis, as she watched Alexis stumble across the classroom over to the witch.

'Ya know, this gal looks familiar,' Alexis was prodding the stranger in the head with her wand.

'Severus, you must heed my warning!'

'Professor, does this desk look clean?'

'Ah! I know who she is!'

'Sorry about our prank from earlier Sir,'

Severus looked at each of the witches in his room as they each vied for his attention. Three of them couldn't tell when a desk was clean, one was busy predicting his death, one was unconscious and the other was pissed out of her mind. Merlin help him!

'Professor? You ok?'

Making up his mind, Severus stalked over to Alexis and snatched the sherry bottle out of her hands, taking a swig of the firewhisky inside, then he approached Trelawney and cast a silencing spell interrupting her 'prediction' of his death. The witch glared at him from behind her thick glasses.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Severus turned to the three students who were serving detention, only to be thrown to the ground. Dazed but certainly not beaten, Severus looked for his attacker and groaned as he saw Alexis scuttling away, hugging her quickly retrieved sherry bottle close to her chest.

'Miss Whyte!' he growled, 'come back here _at once_!'

The small witch gave a manic grin before blowing a raspberry and taking another swig of the firewhisky as she edged over to Vicky.

Severus snarled as he slowly got to his feet.

'Miss Whyte…get back here _now_!'

Alexis giggled as the Potions Master stalked towards her. Raising her wand and firing a pink jet of light, Snape had to dive to avoid being hit. Unfortunately, it was the unconscious witch who received the charm, and she was now twitching.

'_HOW DARE YOU!'_ Snape quickly stood up and bolted towards his four students. Alexis squealed and began running through the mixture of tables, chairs and her friends. Trelawney, having lost the ability to speak was taking the time to watch the show with interest. Artimis meanwhile, had opened her mind link with her manic friend.

_Alexis! What the hell are you doing?_

_Ahh, you know me, trying to annoy Snape. You guys just gonna stand there or are you actually gonna help me?_

_Sure, we'll help._

Artimis grinned as she turned to Vicky and Erica giving them quick instructions. Back on the floor, the witch was now awake and was trying to avoid being trampled by the Professor and his student.

'Can't catch me!' Cried Alexis as she jumped over a desk and took another swig of Firewhisky. She then sprinted back over to her friends who were all standing relatively close to water-holding objects.

Next came Snape who looked about ready to curse the poor girl. He reached his students and then, all went black.

* * *

_AN: Just a quick note! 'Pissed' means drunk in England, sorry but I wasn't sure what it meant in the US...maybe mad or sad? O.o_

_Next chapter, the mystery witch is revealed!_


	3. Waterfights and Dogpiles!

_AN: Mourn-today owns Erica and Vicky, Deepshadows2 and Eckostalker own Artimis and Alexis and I own no characters. Kudos to JK!_ _No money was made with this fic._

Alexis staggered to a halt next to Erica who was standing open-mouthed in shock, whilst Artimis and Vicky each picked up a mop and soaked them in the one remaining bucket of water before turning back to face their livid teacher.

Professor Trelawney remained perched on her desk, shifting her gaze from the students to the witch on the ground.

Professor Snape clenched his teeth as the cold water slowed from a cascading torrent to a slow trickle over his head and down his back. His black hair hung in stringy dread-locks infront of his eyes and he was fairly certain that he would have to change into another fresh set of clothes once again.

Slowly, Snape pulled himself up off the stone floor and raised his hands up to his head to pull the wooden bucket off. When he was free, Snape turned his attention to the two girls infront of him in shock.

Artimis and Vicky were each brandishing a sopping wet mop under his nose, looking more than capable of giving him a good scrub down if he advanced any further to reach their friend. The girl in question, Miss Whyte was looking on in drunken amusement, still holding the sherry bottle closer to her chest than was necessary.

'Put the bucket down, and walk away Professor.' said Vicky in a clear voice, whilst Artimis blushed furiously.

'I'd do what they say Professor.' Erica added.

Snape turned away from the students infront of him, to look at Trelawney for _guidance_. The bug-eyed witch shrugged, clearly stumped.

'_Fat lot of help she is,' _thought Snape savagely.

He had no choice…it was only a sherry bottle after all…the girls had already earned themselves two months of detention…would he really risk being assaulted by four teenagers wielding mops for such a trifle as firewhisky?

'_Of course!'_ yelled a resilient voice from the back of Snape's mind. He was a spy! A powerful wizard! He would_ not _be bested by four pubescent witches!

Snape offered Artimis and Vicky a smirk before throwing himself bodily at them. The girls screamed in surprise as their teacher dragged them down to the floor with him, one of the mops flying out of reach whilst the other became trapped underneath the pile of bodies.

At the other end of the class, Trelawney jumped off her desk in shock as she watched Snape drag himself towards the renegade mop, ignorant of the fact that he was further compromising his position on top of his two students.

The witch who had, until five minutes previously been unconscious, casually made her way over to the Divination Professor.

'Always like this is it? These detentions?' She asked, plucking a notepad and acid green quill from her midnight blue robes.

Trelawney shook her head slowly, as Snape was now being weighed down even further by the added weight of Erica, who had thrown herself on his back, whilst screaming 'DOGPILE!'

Alexis took a lengthy swig of the Firewhisky before setting the bottle on a nearby desk before picking up the lone mop and bouncing over to Snape as he struggled vainly to free himself from the young women who were pulling him to the ground.

'Hey Sev!' called the white haired witch as she stood above the Slytherin. Her Professor looked up in anger, only to have the mop plunged straight into his face.

'Interesting punishment.' Commented the witch as the green quill quickly scratched across the parchment. Trelawney finally acknowledged her fellow onlooker and started in shock.

'OI! SKEETER! GET ME MY WHISKY WOULD YA?' Screeched Alexis as Snape finally freed a hand, wrenched the cleaning appliance from her grasp and secured a firm grip around her ankle.

'Of course dear.' The posh witch strode across the room elegantly, carefully stepping over the pile of bodies and over to the whisky-bearing desk. Once there, she picked the bottle up with a thumb and finger and took two steps over to Alexis who was now trying to wrestle herself free.

'Miss-ah-Whyte?' The young Gryffindor looked up bearing a wolf-like smile.

'Thanks a lot Rita.' At this, Snape's head snapped up to look at her closely.

'What the hell are you doing? You should still be unconscious! Get back in my room and stay there until I've sorted this mess out!'

Rita Skeeter arched an eyebrow in amusement. 'My dear Severus, I wouldn't dream of going back into your room…people might get the wrong idea.'

'TOO RIGHT!' yelled Erica as she finally managed to escape the mountain of people and take a time-out.

'And besides, I wouldn't want to miss _this_ for the world!'

The two adults glared at each other, a silent battle of wills amidst the chaos of a man-made mountain. 'I came here expecting to face a challenge before I got a story, and look Severus…one has fallen right into my lap!' Skeeter sneered at Snape who was now lying on his stomach, Artimis and Vicky sitting on his back in exhaustion barely hearing the conversation.

'I'M IN!' Came the sudden shriek of Alexis who bounded over to the 'play-area'. She jumped clean over her friends and tackled Rita to the ground. The middle-aged woman hollered in shock as she landed face-to-face with Severus Snape, who was returning her sneer with classic Snapeyness.

'Glad you decided to join me.' He muttered as Rita's acid green quill began to tickle his nose as it scribbled away.

'So…Professor…' a small voice whispered in his ear, 'you gonna tell us _why_ she was in your room?'

'Oh _that_ is easy Miss Callabella…this witch has been trying to get a good story on me for months, sneaking about the castle disguised as a beetle-yes Rita I know all about your animagus form' Snape added when she gasped. 'Searching through my private rooms when I am elsewhere.' Artimis' head snapped up at this as she fixed an unblinkable gaze on the Reporter.

'What's it like in there?'

'Dear, this castle isn't exactly famous for its year-round heating, but if all the dorms are _that _big, I'm surprised that it still hasn't signed up as a summer resort. And all those bucks you could pull in…I imagine your Professor could use some of the money to improve his personal hygiene.' Rita gave a mock sigh.

Snape gritted his teeth in anger at the latter statement and seemed to have finally reached his boiling point. Stretching a long arm over to Alexis, he snatched the now empty sherry bottle out of her grasp and held it in a bone-crunching grip.

'One more word Skeeter and I'll make sure you're sent on a first class trip to St Mungo's.'

Two small eyes peered over the horn-rimmed glasses perched on her delicate nose at the bottle. One eye-brow was arched in amusement, whilst her lips were pursed.

'You tell her Professor!' Artimis, Alexis and Vicky turned around to look at Trelawney who had offered Erica the other sherry bottle. The two women were perched on a desk watching the argument with interest whilst taking turns to take a swig of the liquid.

'Sir? Can Professor Trelawney talk again now…only she's gone for ten minutes now without speaking about the fates and I don't think it's too good for her…see…she's going a bit red in the face.'

'So are you!' replied Artimis stifling her laughter.

Erica ignored her Slytherin friend and continued to watch Snape, waiting for an answer. The Potions Professor waved his free hand dismissively, 'yes yes…finite!' A loud hiccup from the heavily jeweled woman signaled the end of the silencing spell.

'Oh great…now she's not gonna shut up. Well done Snape, always the man with a plan aren't you? Always the smart one…well, it doesn't look like it now does it…awww crap.' Rita Skeeter snarled as Trelawney staggered across the dungeon, drunkenly navigating her way through the desks and chairs that now littered the floor.

'Ah! It's _you!_ Knew you looked familiar!' Trelawney lowered herself halfway to the ground before falling over and joining Snape and Rita. 'Rita Marianne Skeeter, reporter for the daily Prophet!' Trelawney extended a thin hand (drowning in bangles) and shook one of Skeeters' carefully manicured fingers.

'My dear, I see great wealth in your future! A story worth galleons!'

'I make galleons every week! Compared to you, I'm positively royalty!'

Trelawney sniffed in distaste, 'Fine, be rude, but one of these days you'll thank your lucky stars that you earn as much money as you do, cause it won't last forever…save it whilst you can.'

'Don't worry honey! The amount of money I'm gonna make from _this _story will keep me going for another two years!'

'OH SHUT UP!' yelled Snape, as his bottle-wielding fist descended, landing with a _crash_ on the woman's head, rendering her unconscious yet again. Unfortunately, the quick-quotes quill did not follow suit and continued to write.

Snape strained his neck to look at the students still resting on his back. 'Will you _please_ let me get up?' he snarled.

Artimis and Vicky sighed. They'd had their fun and would now have to deal with the punishment. Slowly, they pulled themselves to their feet, careful not to step on their teacher, and turned their attention to Alexis, who had pulled out her Official Chudley Cannons Quill, and was drawing new designs onto Rita's nails.

'Come one Starburst, time to get up,' prompted Artimis in a soft voice.

'Busy' grunted Alexis in reply, now working her way down one of Rita's fingers.

Vicky turned around, looking for Erica and finding her asleep on one of the desks clutching Trelawney's sherry bottle in a slack hand. The Divination teacher was next to Alexis, clutching one the reporters' free hand, examining it through heavily magnified glasses.

Snape slowly got to his feet, seething inside, 'Unfortunately, like last week, we're stuck in here until some merciful deity decides to free us.' He cast a menacing glare at each of the women around him, unconscious or not. 'Until that happy moment, I suggest you sit in _SILENCE_ and keep out of my way. Now, Sybil…_why_ are you here?'

Trelawney raised her head and got eagerly to her feet when she realized that someone was willingly talking to her. 'I come with a terrible prediction!' Snape groaned. 'The fates have informed me that in one week, misfortune will come your way. Many people will hear of your darkest secrets Severus…they will be told by a woman you detest…'

'Is that all?' asked Snape as he finally summoned a towel to dry himself off. 'Sybil…I thank you for the warning, really I do….but it isn't necessary.'

Oh how wrong Snape was.


End file.
